Wednesday, March 28, 2007

To someone I love until this second..

Thanks for all the encouragements you gave to me.

Thanks for the time for lunch and dinner.

Thanks for your funny jokes and not-so-funny ones which are more often.

Thanks for all your complaints about your ex. I am happy I can help.

Thanks for accompanying me to the gym and playing badminton.

Thanks for accompanying me to study at night.

Thanks for your saying that I am the best VP that u ve ever had. I know I am.

Thanks for lifting up my confidence when I am low.

Thanks for telling me that you're happy with the flower I gave you. I know I have a good taste.

Thanks for telling me that I should wake up from my dream that I look like Kim Jeong-Hoon. I realized that we are a bit different actually.

Thanks for telling me that you are an International badminton player. If you were, I think I should represent earth to play against Jupiter.

Thanks for teaching me that love is not job interview. Although I still think that it is.

Thanks for telling me that I have a very fake smile. I realized that it is true. I think I have the saddest smile in the world.

Thanks for making me worried the whole night because of you. I know by that time that I really really love you and I can't lose you.

Thanks for telling me that you love someone else. I get hurt, but that's OK.

Thanks for keep telling me that you get hurt while the fact is, I get hurt ten times more than you.

Thanks for making me wait. It teaches me patience.

Thanks for all your lies, I finally realized that I can't trust anyone completely.

Thanks for telling me the truth about all your lies, after so long. You know I hate liars. I hate them so much.

Finally, thanks for hurting me this much. I am bleeding inside and I even don't know when it will stop bleeding. But that's OK. Because of you, I am now an even stronger person than ever.

Thanks for everything.

Thanks for everything.

Thanks for everything.

Thanks thanks thanks..

Sunday, March 25, 2007

My Ideal Wife-to-be.. Seriously!

Some of my friends asked me whether I’ve ever thought of so called love relationship. How come a good-looking and smart guy with superb personality and sense of humor is still single? Haha… I also don’t know why =P

OK, to be honest, I have not really thought about it. Last time, I said, Love life is not even top 5 of my life’s priorities. And for now, the situation hasn’t changed much.

I do like a girl, but because there are too many differences, even for the most basic life principle, we decided not to continue this relationship. Although I love her so much (She love me too!), but there’s no point to continue a relationship where you just can’t see your future at. Love is one thing, our future is another.

I saw an ideal girl to be smart, tough, and independent. She must be able to see our future and not only the present (future means, at least 10 or 20 years from now.) She must be someone who I can talk to, someone who can support me, challenge me to a higher level, make me a better person, and finally, she must be willing to support my career. There’s no point to have a girl who can’t support my career or even slow it down. And most importantly, she must be a trustworthy person. Liars, get lost!

OK, what’s in return? I will support her wholeheartedly. She is the one and the only one and I will be an extremely loyal guy. Just like a simple matter of life like favorite football club, I had been supporting Juventus since 1995 (12 years ago!) and I just can’t switch to any other club even when this club had a very difficult situation (maybe the most difficult a football club has ever experienced.)

Other than that, I will let her free to do whatever she wants, talk to anyone she likes to talk, dream whatever dream she would like to achieve. Let’s work hard together!

In short, I want a girl who thinks about the future and not only about instant personal satisfaction things. OK, every girl loves flower, chocolate, nice sms-es, beautifully written poem, etc. It’s OK for me to give some special things and moments sometimes, but if you hope I will give that kind of attention everyday, I just don’t have time to do that. That’s the fact. You just can’t do everything you want. If you want to achieve everything, you must be either Bill Gates’ child or you never sleep.

Although I am definitely a very polite and sincere person, I am not a romantic guy, and I don’t think I can be one even if I learn so hard. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t love that girl. I will definitely love her so much, but, in my own way. Some girls just can’t understand that. And the chance for me to like them is less than a chance of an idiot to enter Harvard University.

OK, I have to admit that chemistry is also very important. Someone might have fulfilled all the criterias, but I just don’t like her. However, I think that probability is quite small. I am a very logical person and I know that my standard is quite high. So, if I find someone meet my criterias, I really don’t mind stop whatever I will be doing and start planning for marriage. I am serious about that, really.

I am not rushing into a relationship although I start planning and searching for that someone. If I were to rush into relationship, there’re at least 2 girls 550 miles away from Singapore who like me, but too bad, they are not short-listed.

Unlike most guys who judge physical appearance as one of the crucial factors, I just don’t think that‘s very important. Unless you are a monster or you are Angelina Jolie, your appearance is not really important. I really mean it. Lastly, I prefer older women ^^

If you meet my criterias and you look for a smart, good-looking, nice guy with ambitions, drive, and determination to be successful in the future, my E-mail is just a click away =P

Monday, March 19, 2007

Men DO go shopping!

After several "deep thought" posts about my ambition and my opinion towards life, i decided to write something lighter. Shopping!!

Today I finished my Lab at 3.30 pm. In that Lab session, we need to present our project. Everything went alright and I am quite proud with it. I think my presentation skill is getting better and better everyday (haha.. :D)

After that, my friend, Theresia called me whether I want to go to Jurong Point. JP is the nearest shopping mall to my university which is located very far away from any entertainment and shopping place. No wonder everyone looks so nerd and doesn't have any fashion sense (except Business and Comm Studies students maybe.. haha)

I am not a person who adore shopping. However, when you see a Lee Copper jeans for $17, u just can't resist it. I only take less than 2 minutes to decide to buy and total time spent is less than 8 minutes (paying and everything). You see, men are so efficient ^^

After that, I went to the gym, followed by eating one big watermelon (3 of us, Theresia, Rui Ping and me eating), and lastly badminton session. What an amazing day. It's just like I forgot that exam will be starting 30 days from now. Haha.. so slack. Now it's time for me to study hard. I need to catch up a lot of subjects.. Jia you Ben!

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Do It Anyway...

Have you ever felt that someone take you for granted? The one that you love with all your heart just doesn't give you a damn?
I personally do. Not once, not twice, it happens so often. In the past, I used to be extremely depressed because of that.
However, a poem by the extraordinary Mother Theresa changed my way of thinking completely.

Do It Anyway - Mother Theresa

People are often unreasonable, illogical,
And self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you
Of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some
False friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank;
People may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building,
someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

I and My Fake SmileS

"Smiling to people you meet. Maybe that's the only sunshine they receive for the whole day."

I understand that quote very well. In fact, long before I even knew that such quote exists, I have been practicing that all the time.

Some of my friends pointed out to me. IS MY SMILE REAL? AM I REALLY HAPPY ALL THE TIME?

I can say, yes, I always have a good time (and if i really do, i will be approaching Saint or whatever they call for someone who has received enlightenment)

However, because this blog is my truly best friend, I want to be honest. I guess, about 60 to 70 percent of my smiles ARE FAKE. I am stating the fact.

There are good times in my life, there are bad times also. I am no better than average people out there. However, I ve been trying to show my good times to everyone, and keep my sad and anger within myself.

No matter what I experienced, I want to look happy, strong, and problem-free all the time. I can be very stressful but I will never ever show that to people. I can be very sad, and by that time, I will practice one of my best skills, my ability to fake my smile. Sometimes I can only sleep for 3 or 4 hours, but still look very fresh.

Come on! Noone likes pale, sad, or angry face. Fake it man! Fake it!

And by the way, I am very proud with that skill, really.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

David Beckham and his BIG heart

Rebecca Johnstone is only 19 and she is dying from cancer. It began with a mole on her collarbone that the doctors said not to worry about 3 years ago.

Today, the beautiful young girl's life is measured in days, not months. But before this happened she spent her days like any young teen, enjoying all the great things life has to offer. One of her passions was playing soccer. Another was David Beckham. Rebecca has his "posters on her walls. Reads everything she can about him. Follows the English star's career. Loves the way he plays. Even shares a moniker. When she plays, her teammates strap an M onto the end of her nickname -- Becca -- and make her sound just like her soccer idol."

But now, Rebecca spends most of her life in bed. So when she got a phone call recently, her mother was loathe to disturb her until the person on the other end of the line told her who he was: David Beckham. She woke Rebecca up. Rebecca didn't want to talk to anyone. Her throat was painful and her voice raspy from all the surgery. But she took the call.

"in the most strained of voices, Becca and Becks talked about soccer. He asked how she was doing. Told her he'd heard she was a big fan. Even mentioned that he liked her nickname. He asked if there was anything he could do for her. When she said no, he asked if he could send her something. She didn't say no to that. Then he told her to get in touch if she needed anything."

What joy that must have brought to Rebecca and her family at a time when there's little for them to rejoice about. How grateful they must be to Beckham and the aunt who went to so much trouble to research where and how she could reach David Beckham. And how nice of him to take time out to do this for a dying fan.

Rebecca was too weak to talk to reporters at the paper about this wonderful event, but it wasn't the end of the story.

"just when she needed it most, Beckham intervened again. On Monday, a parcel arrived from Madrid, where Beckham plays. Inside was one of his authentic Real Madrid game jerseys. On the back, next to the number, he'd written: To Rebecca, With Love, David Beckham, 23.

Yesterday, at his first public appearance at Old Trafford 4 years after he moved to Real Madrid from ManU, this is what he said to his fans.

”I’ve waited four years to actually come back and to actually say thank you to the fans and the people of the club. I think I wouldn’t have got through many things without the people in this stadium. Everybody knows here that you’ve got the best manager in the world at this club. I think this team is going to be incredible, and I think they’re going to go on and win many things, not just this year but throughout many years to come. So good luck and thank you"

He knows how to thank everyone, including his former manager who, many people said, was the reason of his leaving from ManU.

David Beckham, good luck for your career. For me, you are still one the best footballers in the world. Or at least, a footballer with a big heart.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Heartless Creature??

Everyone dreams to be a tough and fearless person. When I was 6 year old, that’s the ideal image I would like to have. I guess I am successful to achieve that. However, that really frightens me a lot.

When my dear Grandma passed away about 4 years ago, I am the only one in my family who didn’t cry at all. I love her so much, no question about that… but I just couldn’t cry. I try my best to cry but I simply failed.

When my friends and I go to Genting and try so many games like Roller Coaster etc, Everyone in my group is screaming so loud but I didn’t even feel afraid at all.

When I watch horror movie, I don’t feel that it’s frightening (Hey Mr Director, your work sucks!)

I still remember when I was 15 and I did Biology lab and we were asked to observe intestine and whatever inside cat's, mouse's and fish’s stomach, I teared those animals’ stomach heartlessly. I didn’t feel disgusted at all.

And by the way, I have never been frightened by any ghost story for my whole life. I can pass through the haunted places with smile. Yes, with smile. Ghost-story makers out there, I appreciate your good composition skill, but you must try harder next time.

Am I a heartless creature??

Am I robot?

Am I normal?

Am I still human???

Those questions bug me like crazy until I do soul-searching.

And I realize…

My heart hurts when I heart so many people became victims of earthquake.

My heart hurts when my student at Singapore’s Boys Home can’t do their homework, and I am very proud that I can give my bit to help them.

My heart hurts when the person I love experienced a difficult time.

And most importantly, hey! I can fall in love, finally, after so long.

Falling in love is the best evidence that I am still human. Case closed.